Chelsea announce £71.8million signing of new No.1 Kepa Arrizabalaga

Chelsea have confirmed the club record signing of goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga.

The Athletic Bilbao stopper signed a seven-year deal to become the most expensive goalkeeper in football after Chelsea paid his £71.8million release clause.

Chelsea’s new addition beats the record fee Liverpool paid for Roma star Alisson last month and ends a hectic couple of hours at the club.
Kepa arrives to replace the departed Thibaut Courtois who joined Real Madrid earlier on Thursday evening, and the Spaniard expressed his delight at becoming a Blue.
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‘It’s a very important decision for me, for my career, and also for my personal life,’ Kepa said.

‘So many things attracted me to the club, all the titles the club has won, the other players, the city, the English Premier League. It’s an accumulation of things, and I am very glad Chelsea has decided to trust me and to take me in as well.’

Thibaut Courtois to join Real Madrid subject to medical, Chelsea confirm

Chelsea have reached an agreement with Real Madrid for the sale of Thibaut Courtois, the club confirmed.

Courtois will join Real once he has undergone a medical and agreed personal terms on Thursday.

Chelsea announced the news on the website, and confirmed the deal would see midfielder Mateo Kovacic move in the opposite direction.
Kovacic moves to Stamford Bridge as part of the deal (Picture: Getty)

Real confirmed Courtois will sign a six-year deal, and announced Kovacic would join the Blues on a season-long loan.
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Courtois will be presented as a Real player on Thursday at 1pm, which will end a week of turmoil for the Belgian and Chelsea.

The goalkeeper went AWOL from training and refused to return to London until Chelsea green lit his transfer to Real.

Courtois was desperate to leave Chelsea to live in the same city as his family.

Jerome Boateng opts to complete PSG switch over Manchester United transfer

Jerome Boateng will push to join Paris Saint-Germain this summer, according to reports in France.

The Bayern Munich defender has been linked with a transfer to Manchester United and has reportedly been in touch with Jose Mourinho about the move.

It is unclear if Boateng is keen on working with Mourinho at Old Trafford, with some outlets claiming the German rejected United for ‘footballing reasons’.

Le Parisien claim Boateng has now decided where his future lies and will complete a move to PSG once Bayern reaches an agreement with the French champions.
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Bayern want £50million for Boateng, but could sell for £40m with United set to be forced out of the race when the English transfer window closes on Thursday.

Boateng attracted the attention of several clubs this season, including Juventus and United’s bitter rivals Manchester City.
Bayern Munich's defender Jerome Boateng gestures during a team training session of the German first division Bundesliga team FC Bayern Munich in the team training camp in Rottach-Egern, southern Germany, on August 3, 2018. / AFP PHOTO / Christof STACHECHRISTOF STACHE/AFP/Getty Images
(Picture: AFP)

Bayern are happy to offload Boateng after growing tired of his ill-discipline in recent seasons.

United wanted to agree a loan deal due to concerns about Boateng’s injury history, but Mourinho is now set to miss out on the 29-year-old.

It remains to be seen if United can sign a centre-back after persistent pleas from Mourinho this summer.
MUNICH, GERMANY - AUGUST 05: Head coach Jose Mourinho of Manchester United speaks with Andreas Pereira of Manchester United during the friendly match between Bayern Muenchen and Manchester United at Allianz Arena on August 5, 2018 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by TF-Images/Getty Images)
Mourinho has repeatedly asked for a centre-back (Picture: Getty)

Mourinho’s top target is Tottenham star Toby Alderweireld, and the Red Devils may move for several centre-backs on deadline day.

Approaches for Alderweireld and Leicester City’s Harry Maguire have already been knocked back, but United are considering bidding for both defenders before the transfer deadline.

There is also reports coming out of France that United are in talks with Chelsea to sign unwanted defender Kurt Zouma.

Arsenal weigh up Domagoj Vida transfer after Unai Emery confirms he is happy with squad

Unai Emery is happy with his current squad even if Arsenal fail to land Domagoj Vida on transfer deadline day, reports say.

The exit of Calum Chambers to Fulham on a season-long loan sparked rumours Arsenal could be about to move for a new centre-back.

Arsenal are considering whether to move for Vida after Besiktas quoted the London club £26.9million for the defender.
Emery is happy with the players at his disposal (Picture: Getty)
Arsenal did offer Besiktas a swap deal for Vida which would have seen either Danny Welbeck or David Ospina move in the opposite direction plus a transfer fee, but the Turkish club were not interested.

Ospina is in talks about a departure from the Emirates this summer and could join Besiktas, although that deal would be separate to any Vida agreement.

Arsenal need to raise some funds before lodging a formal bid and hope to sell Lucas Perez to West Ham in the next 24 hours.

The Evening Standard claim Emery has told Arsenal he is ‘content’ with the players at his disposal, but is waiting to see whether the club can agree a deal for Vida.

Manchester United meet with Layvin Kurzawa representatives ahead of potential transfer

Manchester United representatives met with members of Layvin Kurzawa’s team to discuss a deadline day transfer to Old Trafford, reports say.

Paris Saint-Germain are prepared to offload the left-back for £22million and have been in talks with Wolves and Tottenham.

But, L’Equipe claim United entered the race late on Thursday night in a bid to lure the 25-year-old to Manchester.

Kurzawa came in and out of the side last season and is prepared to leave the French champions in search of regular football.

United are desperate to complete a deal for a defender on deadline day, but were thought to be focusing all of their attention on a centre-back.

Akpos and Doctor

Akpos who just received a message that his

wife has given birth, ran happily to the

hospital and the following conversation

took place between him and the doctor...

DOCTOR: Congratulation sir, your wife has

just given birth to Triplet.

AKPOS: Thanks doctor but why did you and

my wife name the baby without my

consent?

One word for akpos??

JOKE OF THE DAY**** *** WHY MTN MAGIC SIM STOPPED***

*** WHY MTN MAGIC SIM
STOPPED*** customer care :
good morning how can I help
you ?
Akpos: I dnt knw what is
happening to my mtn sim. I
have tried all I could to turn it to
magic sim, but it
didn't work. customer care :
magic sim ?
Akpos : yeah.that what my friend
called it, he had been browsing
unlimitedly for the past 1 year
customer care : 1 year?
Akpos : yeah
customer care : ok,how did yu do
ur ow dat didnt
work out?
Akpos: I recharged N300,then snt
2hr to 131, I then remove the sim
for
25hrs.then I dialed *123*4*5*1#
and it didnt work

If you are this Man what will you do?

the case of three friends given a boat ferry lift. As they reach the middle of the river the boat started shaking, passengers were too many. The boat owner said one person among the three friends will have to leave the boat. How do they do it? By asking them qustions. Whoever fails to answer his qustion will be thrown into the river to reduce the weight. So first friend was asked: "When did the second world war end?" He said "1945", and he was allowed. The second was asked, "How many people were killed?" He said "Three million". The man said correct. And the the third was asked, "Mention their names

Check Out Akpor jamb Result

Papa Akpors: Akpos,I learnt your JAMB
result is out.
Akpors: Daddy You
rememberJohn wey dey carryfirst for our
whole school? he failed...
Papa Akpors:that's terrible,what happened?
Akpors: You
also remember Paul wey dey teach me for
house? He failed too.
Papa Akpors: what's
causing the poor performance?
Akpors:Daddy I don't know, na so e be o. Even
Kelvin who won the Cowbell competition
failed too.
Papa Akpors: so how was your
own result?

You need to Read This...

CRUSADE!! CRUSAD­E!! CRUSADE!!!

Dortmund Christian Ministry in conjunction with Bayern Church has made
this 2 days power packed crusade, tagged 'Destroying all Spanish
Giants & Goliath: Part 2''to a succesfull ending.

THE CRUSADE was able to accomplish:

1. Breaking of curses (El Clasico)
2. Freedom from powers (Platini)
3. Humilation of Pride (Jose Mourinho)
4. Overpowering Principalities (Lionel Messi)
5. Achieving your Destiny & reaching your goals (Wembley)

The Host Pastor: Rev Robert Lewandolski.
Was beating yesterday by Brother Alonso and apostle Ramos... So
because of that, he wrote a letter before tonight crusade to
Rev, pastor & Elder Arjen Robben and Thomas Muller who ministered
today and also the one and only Pastor Pique who spoiled the crusade
microphone during tonite crusade

The host Pastor Lewandolski thanked them so much for their efforts..

He didnt forget Pastor Marco Reus & other Anointed Men of Soccer.

Then the Ushering Units: Messi and Ronaldo dissapointed the sisters
and young brothers because they were no where to be found during the
crusade...

Glory..Glory..G ­lory
all the spanish Giants where succesfully knocked out of your life forever.

Can someone shout a loud Amen if u ar amoung those dat recieved
anointing and delivered from this 2 days power packed crusade..

Jokes: Akpors is 'Dead'

Akpors and Shaam needed cash
so bad.

They started thinking of what to
do to get fast cash.

After a long thinking, Akpors
suggested they dupe his
insurance company.

He told Shaam his insurance
company is to pay him $ 10miilion
if he ever dies.

So he is going to play dead and
then after, Shaam can go collect
the cash and they can both share
the cash.

Shaam told the insurance
company Akpors is dead and they
followed him down to where
Akpors is been lay down dead to
confirm.

INSURANCE REP : Are you sure he
is dead?

Shaam: Ye....s (Crying)

INSURANCE REP : But a dead man
don't suppose to cross his hands.
Akpors: (Released his hands
straight)

INSURANCE REP : But a dead man
don't suppose to cross his leg
either.

Akpors: (Straighten's up his legs)

INSURANCE REP: Now that we have confirmed that he isdead, we will need
to cut off his head as an evidence to our Boss.
(Brings out a sword to cut Akpors
head off)

Akpors Shouted "Am not dead
ooo, Am alive"


One word for Akpors?

Chika Ike Shaves her hair for #5million

 Nollywood popular actress Chika Ike has agreed to shave off all her hair for an amount reported to be #500000(five million Naira). In a movie titled MOMENT OF TEARS Chika Ike has joined the likes of Mercy Johnson and Oge Okoye who shave thier head because of money.

Jokes: Akpors at his best

Akpors was having a snack of BREAD AND
JAM when an American
man CHUCKLING CHEWING GUM, sits
down next to him.

He ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.

American: "You African folks eat the whole bread??"

Akpors (in a bad mood):
"Of course."

American: "We don't. In
the States, we only eat

Please Give This Picture A Name

Please my wonderful Readers i have been thinking of a suitable name to give these guy 

since i took the picture when i visited a friend of mine in Warri, Delta State Nigeria

Akpors Letter To His Principal

AKPORS LETTER OF LEAVE THE SCHOOL

Dear Sir,

I am very happy that i am rite this letter to you. How are you
and your wife and your childs. I am rite this letta to told you that i
am leave your school
forever. Why because in your school your teachers are cane us
all very hard one and sometimes i wanted to cried but my friends
tell me that man is not crying so i never cry. The last time bi too
that we write exams in the school that i am get 20% teacher tell me
that "my head is die", oh it pain me too much that he tell me that
thing. But, now i am get addittion to another scholl to write G-ece at
that place. Ah i am
tell you plenty things too much for now. Ahaa! The time that you tell
me as to come to school early kra-mpo sometime i wake up early and
tries to be late. You have do saa now that i am left
the school for you peoples. I am gone away.


Bye bye teachers
Yours FateFool,
Akpors

If You Were To Be In Akpors Shoes, What Will You Do? >>> Part 2

There was a night i ate a very heavy meal, drank a bottle of beer and
fell asleep with a tooth pick in my mouth. I found myself in a dream
being chased by my Girlfriend inside a bush with a sharp cutlass. I
ran as fast as i could like a mad man. She couldn't catch up with me
after trying everything possible, she changed to a dog and even to a
tiger but i was too fast like Usain Bolt, she finally gave up.

I didn't look back, i kept on running and woke up sweating and looked around,

saw my Girlfriend staring at me angrily, holding the same sharp cutlass.

She said; Akpors, for your mind now, you sabi run abi?

If you were to be in Akpors shoes, what will you do?

If You Are In Akpors Shoes What Will You Do

Three men were in a
hospital visiting
room, waiting for their
pregnant wifes who
where in labour at the
labour room. Minutes
later, a nurse came and
asked; Who is mr Timi
that works with three
crowns milk? Mr Timi
said; it's me,
the nurse said;
Congratulation sir, your
wife
has just given birth to
triplate.
The nurse went in,
came out again and
asked;
Who is mr Dan that

Lol... Akpors the Marketer

A little old lady
answered a knock on
the door one day,
only to be confronted by
a well-dressed young
man
Akpos by name,
carrying a vacuum
cleaner.
"Goodmorning," said the
young man. "If i
could take a minute of
your time, i would
like to demostrate the
latest in high
powered vacuum
cleaners."
"Go away!" said the old
lady. "I haven't got any
money!, and she
proceeded to

Is Akpors Really Mad

Akpors wanted to use his ATM card but the
machine kept on rejecting the card.

A frustrated
Akpors called his bank help line.

Akpors : (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card.

Call girl : Sir, I have checked your account,
everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card,
are you sure your card is not
damaged or broken?

Akpors : Are you insane? What are You
insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM

Jokes: Akpors at it again

A warden caught Akpors leaving the vicinity of the
reservoir with a bucket of fish and the following conversation
started .

Warden: Aha! I've caught you
stealing fish red-handed!

Akpors: What do you mean by red-handed?

Warden: You've got a bucket full of fish right here, you can't
talk your way out of it this time.

Akpors: Oh, you don't
understand, I've not stolen a thing. These are my pet fish! I
bring them to the reservoir once a week for exercise. After