tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10085061856063382052024-03-06T06:45:37.589+01:00Kanyi East Entr.Latest jokes & NewsAmoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.comBlogger93125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-83834653471233319962018-08-09T01:42:00.001+01:002018-08-09T01:42:42.059+01:00Chelsea announce £71.8million signing of new No.1 Kepa Arrizabalaga<p dir="ltr">Chelsea have confirmed the club record signing of goalkeeper Kepa Arrizabalaga.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Athletic Bilbao stopper signed a seven-year deal to become the most expensive goalkeeper in football after Chelsea paid his £71.8million release clause.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Chelsea’s new addition beats the record fee Liverpool paid for Roma star Alisson last month and ends a hectic couple of hours at the club.<br>
Kepa arrives to replace the departed Thibaut Courtois who joined Real Madrid earlier on Thursday evening, and the Spaniard expressed his delight at becoming a Blue.<br>
Advertisement</p>
<p dir="ltr">‘It’s a very important decision for me, for my career, and also for my personal life,’ Kepa said.</p>
<p dir="ltr">‘So many things attracted me to the club, all the titles the club has won, the other players, the city, the English Premier League. It’s an accumulation of things, and I am very glad Chelsea has decided to trust me and to take me in as well.’<br><br><br></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmaPAbiuP_CWr9wTz1ROnOpYSUUZ3tdAiMwH0bXMxELm3P4yMLMQkaTWPFv2XN_eACNXLNxQbvV2Vn6V_g6erzqMjfvd_87_4r1qiFA11GmRB-7xiMB2cSKYl-SM3cQ8i3REOAVgvtH-BJ/s1600/kepa-ca22.png" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgmaPAbiuP_CWr9wTz1ROnOpYSUUZ3tdAiMwH0bXMxELm3P4yMLMQkaTWPFv2XN_eACNXLNxQbvV2Vn6V_g6erzqMjfvd_87_4r1qiFA11GmRB-7xiMB2cSKYl-SM3cQ8i3REOAVgvtH-BJ/s640/kepa-ca22.png"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15961429400340187925noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-54748331185860073842018-08-09T01:41:00.001+01:002018-08-09T01:41:13.102+01:00Thibaut Courtois to join Real Madrid subject to medical, Chelsea confirm<p dir="ltr">Chelsea have reached an agreement with Real Madrid for the sale of Thibaut Courtois, the club confirmed.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Courtois will join Real once he has undergone a medical and agreed personal terms on Thursday.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Chelsea announced the news on the website, and confirmed the deal would see midfielder Mateo Kovacic move in the opposite direction.<br>
Kovacic moves to Stamford Bridge as part of the deal (Picture: Getty)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Real confirmed Courtois will sign a six-year deal, and announced Kovacic would join the Blues on a season-long loan.<br>
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<p dir="ltr">Courtois will be presented as a Real player on Thursday at 1pm, which will end a week of turmoil for the Belgian and Chelsea.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The goalkeeper went AWOL from training and refused to return to London until Chelsea green lit his transfer to Real.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Courtois was desperate to leave Chelsea to live in the same city as his family.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQPg-SjjQ-vEPGHtFMszwttKl5EZeVcSP5fLBaKLpiilnILNzNZm9bFOJL3npDDas_hd037fm50zmhHuOm03XXCIN_HZi2yp0hc4jEhyIDnmQG-QiL_sw8Bjhzxa1g_8D3Bh45mgZn3qvv/s1600/gettyimages-960206358.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjQPg-SjjQ-vEPGHtFMszwttKl5EZeVcSP5fLBaKLpiilnILNzNZm9bFOJL3npDDas_hd037fm50zmhHuOm03XXCIN_HZi2yp0hc4jEhyIDnmQG-QiL_sw8Bjhzxa1g_8D3Bh45mgZn3qvv/s640/gettyimages-960206358.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15961429400340187925noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-67632042929439854232018-08-09T01:40:00.001+01:002018-08-09T01:40:07.946+01:00Jerome Boateng opts to complete PSG switch over Manchester United transfer<p dir="ltr">Jerome Boateng will push to join Paris Saint-Germain this summer, according to reports in France.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The Bayern Munich defender has been linked with a transfer to Manchester United and has reportedly been in touch with Jose Mourinho about the move.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It is unclear if Boateng is keen on working with Mourinho at Old Trafford, with some outlets claiming the German rejected United for ‘footballing reasons’.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Le Parisien claim Boateng has now decided where his future lies and will complete a move to PSG once Bayern reaches an agreement with the French champions.<br>
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<p dir="ltr">Bayern want £50million for Boateng, but could sell for £40m with United set to be forced out of the race when the English transfer window closes on Thursday.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Boateng attracted the attention of several clubs this season, including Juventus and United’s bitter rivals Manchester City.<br>
Bayern Munich's defender Jerome Boateng gestures during a team training session of the German first division Bundesliga team FC Bayern Munich in the team training camp in Rottach-Egern, southern Germany, on August 3, 2018. / AFP PHOTO / Christof STACHECHRISTOF STACHE/AFP/Getty Images<br>
(Picture: AFP)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Bayern are happy to offload Boateng after growing tired of his ill-discipline in recent seasons.</p>
<p dir="ltr">United wanted to agree a loan deal due to concerns about Boateng’s injury history, but Mourinho is now set to miss out on the 29-year-old.</p>
<p dir="ltr">It remains to be seen if United can sign a centre-back after persistent pleas from Mourinho this summer.<br>
MUNICH, GERMANY - AUGUST 05: Head coach Jose Mourinho of Manchester United speaks with Andreas Pereira of Manchester United during the friendly match between Bayern Muenchen and Manchester United at Allianz Arena on August 5, 2018 in Munich, Germany. (Photo by TF-Images/Getty Images)<br>
Mourinho has repeatedly asked for a centre-back (Picture: Getty)</p>
<p dir="ltr">Mourinho’s top target is Tottenham star Toby Alderweireld, and the Red Devils may move for several centre-backs on deadline day.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Approaches for Alderweireld and Leicester City’s Harry Maguire have already been knocked back, but United are considering bidding for both defenders before the transfer deadline.</p>
<p dir="ltr">There is also reports coming out of France that United are in talks with Chelsea to sign unwanted defender Kurt Zouma.<br><br></p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLrHdgER0ANvy3EkMteACzexqDAMlBFmD2yDB7VnrOxMowMPuyh_reTPTo_zZwGgejvb-puHGE1RD32G2TkSwMHrOsQue7AfLPFMfEtp4pPNDhCBy2OzSlOi_3crALyf0adM3AdA9a_Uv4/s1600/gettyimages-979035810.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgLrHdgER0ANvy3EkMteACzexqDAMlBFmD2yDB7VnrOxMowMPuyh_reTPTo_zZwGgejvb-puHGE1RD32G2TkSwMHrOsQue7AfLPFMfEtp4pPNDhCBy2OzSlOi_3crALyf0adM3AdA9a_Uv4/s640/gettyimages-979035810.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15961429400340187925noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-62206129536716072512018-08-09T01:38:00.001+01:002018-08-09T01:38:41.521+01:00Arsenal weigh up Domagoj Vida transfer after Unai Emery confirms he is happy with squad<p dir="ltr">Unai Emery is happy with his current squad even if Arsenal fail to land Domagoj Vida on transfer deadline day, reports say.</p>
<p dir="ltr">The exit of Calum Chambers to Fulham on a season-long loan sparked rumours Arsenal could be about to move for a new centre-back.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Arsenal are considering whether to move for Vida after Besiktas quoted the London club £26.9million for the defender.<br>
Emery is happy with the players at his disposal (Picture: Getty)<br>
Arsenal did offer Besiktas a swap deal for Vida which would have seen either Danny Welbeck or David Ospina move in the opposite direction plus a transfer fee, but the Turkish club were not interested.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Ospina is in talks about a departure from the Emirates this summer and could join Besiktas, although that deal would be separate to any Vida agreement.</p>
<p dir="ltr">Arsenal need to raise some funds before lodging a formal bid and hope to sell Lucas Perez to West Ham in the next 24 hours.<br><br></p>
<p dir="ltr">The Evening Standard claim Emery has told Arsenal he is ‘content’ with the players at his disposal, but is waiting to see whether the club can agree a deal for Vida.</p>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"> <a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOjW1wjdnmHzEIorz_xUMjJrTtzhzrrRcv0S_gBv0TNli2E-Jx8jakJMbwKoZAbUQ30Abu7kYmMmVmFzAxA-T2X1gFEKJvzYenXiv8v0Dwf8fVChyphenhyphenEwjtGD_pPI2CQaUD0BegoX_pq6-a/s1600/sei_21415494-9414.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"> <img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjwOjW1wjdnmHzEIorz_xUMjJrTtzhzrrRcv0S_gBv0TNli2E-Jx8jakJMbwKoZAbUQ30Abu7kYmMmVmFzAxA-T2X1gFEKJvzYenXiv8v0Dwf8fVChyphenhyphenEwjtGD_pPI2CQaUD0BegoX_pq6-a/s640/sei_21415494-9414.jpg"> </a> </div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15961429400340187925noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-53587090692784739992018-08-09T01:36:00.001+01:002018-08-09T01:36:14.087+01:00Manchester United meet with Layvin Kurzawa representatives ahead of potential transfer<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;"><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font color="#0000ee"><u>Manchester United representatives met with members of Layvin Kurzawa’s team to discuss a deadline day transfer to Old Trafford, reports say.</u></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font color="#0000ee"><u><br></u></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font color="#0000ee"><u>Paris Saint-Germain are prepared to offload the left-back for £22million and have been in talks with Wolves and Tottenham.</u></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font color="#0000ee"><u><br></u></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font color="#0000ee"><u>But, L’Equipe claim United entered the race late on Thursday night in a bid to lure the 25-year-old to Manchester.</u></font></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><font color="#0000ee"><u><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">Kurzawa came in and out of the side last season and is prepared to leave the French champions in search of regular football.</div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;"><br></div><div class="separator" style="clear: both;">United are desperate to complete a deal for a defender on deadline day, but were thought to be focusing all of their attention on a centre-back.</div></u></font></div></div>Anonymoushttp://www.blogger.com/profile/15961429400340187925noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-42827548063054922622014-07-28T13:06:00.000+01:002014-07-28T13:06:21.436+01:00Akpos and Doctor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAYRc1nBsHHe1C4xkBWkzdZasv7qmHs5lVatZsKP6BGUvp6VxkYe6m0ETvsNibJ9v99uYeeSSNNN1GeU0Y1mPQO1xwpjqFYpPAl5oCsljPrrYA8uZmhSekQjK8huzmahlXaacPH7ke0E0U/s1600/laugh%25252Bsmiley.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEjAYRc1nBsHHe1C4xkBWkzdZasv7qmHs5lVatZsKP6BGUvp6VxkYe6m0ETvsNibJ9v99uYeeSSNNN1GeU0Y1mPQO1xwpjqFYpPAl5oCsljPrrYA8uZmhSekQjK8huzmahlXaacPH7ke0E0U/s640/laugh%25252Bsmiley.jpg" /> </a><br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
Akpos who just received a message that his</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
wife has given birth, ran happily to the</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
hospital and the following conversation</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
took place between him and the doctor...</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
DOCTOR: Congratulation sir, your wife has</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
just given birth to Triplet.</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
AKPOS: Thanks doctor but why did you and</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
my wife name the baby without my</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
consent?</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both;">
One word for akpos??</div>
</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-50011647857381391912013-07-03T08:30:00.000+01:002013-07-03T08:30:00.300+01:00JOKE OF THE DAY**** *** WHY MTN MAGIC SIM STOPPED***<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<h5 class="uiStreamMessage userContentWrapper" data-ft="{"type":1,"tn":"K"}" style="background-color: white; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 11px; font-weight: normal; line-height: 14px; margin: 0px 0px 5px; padding: 0px; word-break: break-word; word-wrap: break-word;">
<span class="messageBody" style="color: #333333; font-size: 13px; line-height: 1.38;">*** WHY MTN MAGIC SIM<br />STOPPED*** customer care :<br />good morning how can I help<br />you ?<br /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="display: inline;">Akpos: I dnt knw what is<br />happening to my mtn sim. I<br />have tried all I could to turn it to<br />magic sim, but it<br />didn't work. customer care :<br />magic sim ?<br />Akpos : yeah.that what my friend<br />called it, he had been browsing<br />unlimitedly for the past 1 year<br />customer care : 1 year?<br />Akpos : yeah<br />customer care : ok,how did yu do<br />ur ow dat didnt<br />work out?<br />Akpos: I recharged N300,then snt<br />2hr to 131, I then remove the sim<br />for<br />25hrs.then I dialed *123*4*5*1#<br />and it didnt work<a name='more'></a><br />customer care: is that the way<br />your friend did his<br />own??<br />akpos: yes<br />customer care : pls wait cos am<br />checking why your own is not<br />working<br />akpos: ok<br />customer care : are u caling me<br />wit d number??<br />akpos: no!<br />customer care: call the numba for<br />me<br />akpos : 0803***<br />customer care; am with u Mr.<br />akpos Akpos; Ok<br />customer care: am still wit u plss<br />Akpos: ok, buh do fast abeg<br />customer care : ok.am checking,<br />do you knw any other person<br />using the magic sim?<br />Akpos: yeah, Don Vman, Olantino,<br />4mular, and Others<br />customer care : do you knw their<br />numbas:<br />akpos: i av it on my phone<br />book.let me check it.<br />then he called the numbas one<br />after d other<br />customer care: we are currently<br />upgrading our<br />server in oda to serve you better.<br />Now mtn had blocked akpos<br />magic sim frm<br />browsing and many others<br />yesterday</span></span></h5>
</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-83369989669912747792013-07-02T11:28:00.003+01:002013-07-02T11:28:56.932+01:00If you are this Man what will you do?<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; line-height: 18px;">the case of three friends given a boat ferry lift. As they reach the middle of the river the boat started shaking, passengers were too many. The boat owner said one person among the three friends will have to leave the boat. How do they do it? By asking them qustions. Whoever fails to answer his qustion will be thrown into the river to reduce the weight. So first friend was asked: "When did the second world war end?" He said "1945", and he was allowed. The second was asked, "How many people were killed?" He said "Three million". The man said correct. And the the third was asked, "Mention their names</span></div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-26088741907337543612013-07-01T17:34:00.003+01:002013-07-01T17:34:54.947+01:00Check Out Akpor jamb Result<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Papa Akpors: Akpos,I learnt your JAMB</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">result is out.</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Akpors: Daddy You</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">rememberJohn wey dey carryfirst for our</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">whole school? he failed...</span><br style="background-color: white; color: #333333; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;" /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="background-color: white; color: #333333; display: inline; font-family: 'lucida grande', tahoma, verdana, arial, sans-serif; font-size: 13px; line-height: 17px;">Papa Akpors:that's terrible,what happened?<br />Akpors: You<br />also remember Paul wey dey teach me for<br />house? He failed too.<br />Papa Akpors: what's<br />causing the poor performance?<br />Akpors:Daddy I don't know, na so e be o. Even<br />Kelvin who won the Cowbell competition<br />failed too.<br />Papa Akpors: so how was your<br />own result?</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />Akpors: You also remember<br />OKON, our senior prefect? Hefailed.Papa<br />Akpors: (Angrily) Boy, Tell meabout your<br />own result!!<br />Akpors : (angrily) If all those<br />people failed, wetin You expect for my own<br />result?? I be witch?<br />ONE WORD FOR AKPOS??!!</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-89841321790032619502013-05-02T15:33:00.001+01:002013-05-02T15:33:17.567+01:00You need to Read This...CRUSADE!! CRUSAD­E!! CRUSADE!!!
<br>
<br>Dortmund Christian Ministry in conjunction with Bayern Church has made
<br>this 2 days power packed crusade, tagged 'Destroying all Spanish
<br>Giants & Goliath: Part 2''to a succesfull ending.
<br>
<br>THE CRUSADE was able to accomplish:
<br>
<br>1. Breaking of curses (El Clasico)
<br>2. Freedom from powers (Platini)
<br>3. Humilation of Pride (Jose Mourinho)
<br>4. Overpowering Principalities (Lionel Messi)
<br>5. Achieving your Destiny & reaching your goals (Wembley)
<br>
<br>The Host Pastor: Rev Robert Lewandolski.
<br>Was beating yesterday by Brother Alonso and apostle Ramos... So
<br>because of that, he wrote a letter before tonight crusade to
<br>Rev, pastor & Elder Arjen Robben and Thomas Muller who ministered
<br>today and also the one and only Pastor Pique who spoiled the crusade
<br>microphone during tonite crusade
<br>
<br>The host Pastor Lewandolski thanked them so much for their efforts..
<br>
<br>He didnt forget Pastor Marco Reus & other Anointed Men of Soccer.
<br>
<br>Then the Ushering Units: Messi and Ronaldo dissapointed the sisters
<br>and young brothers because they were no where to be found during the
<br>crusade...
<br>
<br>Glory..Glory..G ­lory
<br>all the spanish Giants where succesfully knocked out of your life forever.
<br>
<br>Can someone shout a loud Amen if u ar amoung those dat recieved
<br>anointing and delivered from this 2 days power packed crusade..Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-4715196472998520372013-05-02T07:25:00.001+01:002013-05-02T07:25:34.645+01:00Jokes: Akpors is 'Dead'Akpors and Shaam needed cash
<br>so bad.
<br>
<br>They started thinking of what to
<br>do to get fast cash.
<br>
<br>After a long thinking, Akpors
<br>suggested they dupe his
<br>insurance company.
<br>
<br>He told Shaam his insurance
<br>company is to pay him $ 10miilion
<br>if he ever dies.
<br>
<br>So he is going to play dead and
<br>then after, Shaam can go collect
<br>the cash and they can both share
<br>the cash.
<br>
<br>Shaam told the insurance
<br>company Akpors is dead and they
<br>followed him down to where
<br>Akpors is been lay down dead to
<br>confirm.
<br>
<br>INSURANCE REP : Are you sure he
<br>is dead?
<br>
<br>Shaam: Ye....s (Crying)
<br>
<br>INSURANCE REP : But a dead man
<br>don't suppose to cross his hands.
<br>Akpors: (Released his hands
<br>straight)
<br>
<br>INSURANCE REP : But a dead man
<br>don't suppose to cross his leg
<br>either.
<br>
<br>Akpors: (Straighten's up his legs)
<br>
<br>INSURANCE REP: Now that we have confirmed that he isdead, we will need
<br>to cut off his head as an evidence to our Boss.
<br>(Brings out a sword to cut Akpors
<br>head off)
<br>
<br>Akpors Shouted "Am not dead
<br>ooo, Am alive"
<br>
<br>
<br>One word for Akpors?Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-6766814094792180342013-04-25T15:43:00.001+01:002013-04-30T18:38:55.590+01:00Chika Ike Shaves her hair for #5million<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<a href="http://www.freeimagehosting.net/8ov5o"><img src="http://www.freeimagehosting.net/newuploads/8ov5o.jpg" /></a><br />
<br />
Nollywood popular actress Chika Ike has agreed to shave off all her hair for an amount reported to be #500000(five million Naira). In a movie titled MOMENT OF TEARS
Chika Ike has joined the likes of Mercy Johnson and Oge Okoye who shave thier head because of money.</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-53395308698115149702013-04-25T09:16:00.001+01:002013-04-30T23:55:24.807+01:00Jokes: Akpors at his best<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Akpors was having a snack of BREAD AND
<br />
JAM when an American
<br />
man CHUCKLING CHEWING GUM, sits
<br />
down next to him.
<br />
<br />
He ignores the American who, nevertheless, starts a conversation.
<br />
<br />
American: "You African folks eat the whole bread??"
<br />
<br />
Akpors (in a bad mood):
<br />
"Of course."
<br />
<br />
American: "We don't. In
<br />
the States, we only eat<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<br />
what's inside. The
<br />
crusts we collect in a container, recycle it,
<br />
transform them into
<br />
croissants and export
<br />
them to Africa."
<br />
<br />
The American has a smirk on his face.
<br />
<br />
Akpors listens in silence.
<br />
<br />
The American persists:
<br />
"Do'ya eat jelly with the
<br />
bread??"
<br />
<br />
Akpors : "Of Course."
<br />
<br />
American: "We don't. In
<br />
the States we eat fresh fruit for breakfast, then we putall the peels,
<br />
seeds, and leftovers in containers, recycle them, transform them into
<br />
jam and export them to Africa
<br />
<br />
Akpors ( pissed of)
<br />
then asks: "Do you have sex in America?"
<br />
<br />
American: "Why of
<br />
course we do", the American says with a
<br />
big smirk.
<br />
<br />
Akpors : And what do you do with the condoms once you've used them?"
<br />
<br />
American: "We throw
<br />
them away, of course."
<br />
<br />
Akpors : "We don't. In
<br />
Africa, we put them in a
<br />
container, recycle them, melt them down into chewing gum and
<br />
export them to
<br />
America!!...
<br />
<br />
Have a Nice day</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-23121915701944511552013-04-18T14:34:00.003+01:002013-04-18T21:29:44.129+01:00Please Give This Picture A Name<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5b4QgpZvlA-CD_2dkf6TgD04Mf2_M4EWj7LuQxuRy6AorlllrTFeSJNjnyJ-x8pSRQrqjarDpcYPt_u_l8gehZM-uFpmFvFL_Q5zjEL5jf7OtGOLeKXFN6ov370j3ERLDlSVHBDexIC-x/s1600/fod.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="318" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh5b4QgpZvlA-CD_2dkf6TgD04Mf2_M4EWj7LuQxuRy6AorlllrTFeSJNjnyJ-x8pSRQrqjarDpcYPt_u_l8gehZM-uFpmFvFL_Q5zjEL5jf7OtGOLeKXFN6ov370j3ERLDlSVHBDexIC-x/s320/fod.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
Please my wonderful Readers i have been thinking of a suitable name to give these guy </div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
since i took the picture when i visited a friend of mine in Warri, Delta State Nigeria</div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<br /></div>
<br /></div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-48446386522498013022013-04-17T14:26:00.001+01:002013-04-18T13:12:13.152+01:00Akpors Letter To His PrincipalAKPORS LETTER OF LEAVE THE SCHOOL
<br>
<br>Dear Sir,
<br>
<br>I am very happy that i am rite this letter to you. How are you
<br>and your wife and your childs. I am rite this letta to told you that i
<br>am leave your school
<br>forever. Why because in your school your teachers are cane us
<br>all very hard one and sometimes i wanted to cried but my friends
<br>tell me that man is not crying so i never cry. The last time bi too
<br>that we write exams in the school that i am get 20% teacher tell me
<br>that "my head is die", oh it pain me too much that he tell me that
<br>thing. But, now i am get addittion to another scholl to write G-ece at
<br>that place. Ah i am
<br>tell you plenty things too much for now. Ahaa! The time that you tell
<br>me as to come to school early kra-mpo sometime i wake up early and
<br>tries to be late. You have do saa now that i am left
<br>the school for you peoples. I am gone away.
<br>
<br>
<br>Bye bye teachers
<br>Yours FateFool,
<br>AkporsAmoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-774771949800223632013-04-17T14:15:00.001+01:002013-04-18T13:11:43.712+01:00If You Were To Be In Akpors Shoes, What Will You Do? >>> Part 2There was a night i ate a very heavy meal, drank a bottle of beer and
<br>fell asleep with a tooth pick in my mouth. I found myself in a dream
<br>being chased by my Girlfriend inside a bush with a sharp cutlass. I
<br>ran as fast as i could like a mad man. She couldn't catch up with me
<br>after trying everything possible, she changed to a dog and even to a
<br>tiger but i was too fast like Usain Bolt, she finally gave up.
<br>
<br>I didn't look back, i kept on running and woke up sweating and looked around,
<br>
<br>saw my Girlfriend staring at me angrily, holding the same sharp cutlass.
<br>
<br>She said; Akpors, for your mind now, you sabi run abi?
<br>
<br>If you were to be in Akpors shoes, what will you do?Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-14194113042747267382013-04-16T11:59:00.001+01:002013-04-16T12:29:07.457+01:00If You Are In Akpors Shoes What Will You Do<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh91Tbwq0-mxk7pFQUAnqPvuEcKDo8ygTWPXAN9kf5EL7nN3sWdsTquAKnRzZAGUFCiuteEuxBAsD5rO53ioUfJLIk1k9LujuyH3Xbb1kXqqA3WXUC4zZ_T_TI0X1lOdmpDJ__PUNaql2Jp/s1600/funny+picx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="156" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEh91Tbwq0-mxk7pFQUAnqPvuEcKDo8ygTWPXAN9kf5EL7nN3sWdsTquAKnRzZAGUFCiuteEuxBAsD5rO53ioUfJLIk1k9LujuyH3Xbb1kXqqA3WXUC4zZ_T_TI0X1lOdmpDJ__PUNaql2Jp/s320/funny+picx.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Three men were in a</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">hospital visiting</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">room, waiting for their</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">pregnant wifes who</span><br />
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">where in labour at the</span><br />
<span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">labour room. Minutes<br />later, a nurse came and<br />asked; Who is mr Timi<br />that works with three<br />crowns milk? Mr Timi<br />said; it's me,<br />the nurse said;<br />Congratulation sir, your<br />wife<br />has just given birth to<br />triplate.<br />The nurse went in,<br />came out again and<br />asked;<br />Who is mr Dan that</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />
works with 7up bottling<br />
company? Mr Dan said;<br />
it's me, the nurse said;<br />
Congratulation sir, your<br />
wife has just<br />
delivered 7 babies.<br />
As the nurse went<br />
inside, the third man<br />
(akpors)<br />
who works with "33"<br />
lagar beer took to<br />
his heels.</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-42511361861136230692013-04-16T11:45:00.001+01:002013-04-16T11:45:18.333+01:00Lol... Akpors the Marketer<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<div class="separator" style="clear: both; text-align: center;">
<a href="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUKXftRbXelAfS0lPZaTu6X99NmF3sSvxy5D4tbBWWJ_q3YiRWD-TtkrG78UzG7OofJTvHxfqRnTicCkLBEGy9U1zhz9pSqoMpdmVMhfmQ8Wt8_3_ubRgtFZqITrLFpUjoWJEELFwoU-Yv/s1600/funny+picx.jpg" imageanchor="1" style="margin-left: 1em; margin-right: 1em;"><img border="0" height="155" src="https://blogger.googleusercontent.com/img/b/R29vZ2xl/AVvXsEgUKXftRbXelAfS0lPZaTu6X99NmF3sSvxy5D4tbBWWJ_q3YiRWD-TtkrG78UzG7OofJTvHxfqRnTicCkLBEGy9U1zhz9pSqoMpdmVMhfmQ8Wt8_3_ubRgtFZqITrLFpUjoWJEELFwoU-Yv/s320/funny+picx.jpg" width="320" /></a></div>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;"><br /></span>
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">A little old lady</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">answered a knock on</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">the door one day,</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">only to be confronted by</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">a well-dressed young</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">man<br />Akpos by name,<br />carrying a vacuum<br />cleaner.<br />"Goodmorning," said the<br />young man. "If i<br />could take a minute of<br />your time, i would<br />like to demostrate the<br />latest in high<br />powered vacuum<br />cleaners."<br />"Go away!" said the old<br />lady. "I haven't got any<br />money!, and she<br />proceeded to</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />close her door. Quick as<br />a flash, Akpos<br />wedged his foot in the<br />door and pushed<br />it wide open.<br />"Don't be too hasty!" he<br />said. "Not untill<br />you have at least seen<br />my demostration.<br />"And with that, he<br />emptied a bucket of<br />horse<br />manure onto her<br />hallway carpet. "If this<br />vacuum<br />cleaner does not<br />remove all traces of this<br />horse<br />manure from your<br />carpet, madam i will<br />personally<br />eat the remender<br />"well, She said "I hope<br />you got a good appetite<br />because the electricity<br />was cut off this<br />morning</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-51017649044765146952013-04-13T07:54:00.001+01:002013-04-13T10:19:08.441+01:00Is Akpors Really Mad<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Akpors wanted to use his ATM card but the
<br />
machine kept on rejecting the card.
<br />
<br />
A frustrated
<br />
Akpors called his bank help line.
<br />
<br />
Akpors : (angrily) So what's wrong with my ATM card.
<br />
<br />
Call girl : Sir, I have checked your account,
<br />
everything is alright here and You should be able to use your card,
<br />
are you sure your card is not
<br />
damaged or broken?
<br />
<br />
Akpors : Are you insane? What are You
<br />
insinuating? No one takes good care of their ATM<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<br />
card like I do.
<br />
<br />
Call girl : Okay Sir, are you also sure the surface isn't wet or
<br />
stained with dirt?
<br />
<br />
Akpors : You dey mad? ATM card wey I dey pet like egg. As a matter of
<br />
fact, I even laminated it last week when I laminated my Identity card.
<br />
<br />
Call girl : Did you just said LAMINATE?
<br />
<br />
Akpors : Of course Yes!!!
<br />
<br />
One Word For Akpors?</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-72729732175677744242013-04-13T07:47:00.001+01:002013-04-13T10:18:26.590+01:00Jokes: Akpors at it again<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A warden caught Akpors leaving the vicinity of the
<br />
reservoir with a bucket of fish and the following conversation
<br />
started .
<br />
<br />
Warden: Aha! I've caught you
<br />
stealing fish red-handed!
<br />
<br />
Akpors: What do you mean by red-handed?
<br />
<br />
Warden: You've got a bucket full of fish right here, you can't
<br />
talk your way out of it this time.
<br />
<br />
Akpors: Oh, you don't
<br />
understand, I've not stolen a thing. These are my pet fish! I
<br />
bring them to the reservoir once a week for exercise. After<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<br />
they've had a good swim, they come back to the bucket & we
<br />
go back home.
<br />
<br />
Warden: Do you expect me to believe such a tale?
<br />
<br />
Akpors: I can prove it. So they walked back to the reservoir and Akpors dipped
<br />
the bucket in & the fishes swam away.
<br />
<br />
They both stood in
<br />
silence for 20, 30, 40
<br />
minutes…..No sign of the fish coming back to the bucket.
<br />
<br />
Warden: Ha, you lying rogue!!!
<br />
You steal fish?
<br />
<br />
Akpors: What fish? Where is your proof.</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-27906248231433256452013-04-12T10:52:00.000+01:002013-04-12T10:52:32.464+01:00Jokes: Akpors The Coffin Maker<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Akpors was a professional</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">carpenter</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">and was transporting one of</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">his</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">product [coffin box] to his</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span class="text_exposed_show" style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; display: inline; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">customer at night, suddenly, his car broke<br />down<br />and decided to carry the<br />coffin on his<br />head. when some Nigerian<br />police stopped him.<br />You know police and their<br />wahala.</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br />They stopped him and asked<br />him<br />"where he was going to by this time of<br />the day? Akpors said, he did'nt<br />like the place he<br />was buried so he's relocating.<br />The<br />police men flew as fast as their leg can<br />carry them leaving behind their<br />guns.</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com0tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-84206419624201216792013-04-10T14:29:00.001+01:002013-04-12T10:54:39.926+01:00Jokes: Akpors And His Foolish Friends<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Peter : "I want my money now!"
<br />
<br />
Tom : "I will kill myself so that I won't pay you
<br />
<br />
*he pulled a gun and shot himself dead*
<br />
<br />
Peter : "hahaha..... If you think you'll get away with my money you
<br />
are wrong, i'l follow you until you pay me
<br />
<br />
*he takes the gun and shot himself dead as well *<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<br />
<br />
Akpors their friend who was watching from a distance laughed and said
<br />
: "these guys are funny, I want to watch this till the end"....
<br />
<br />
*he also took the gun and killed him self!
<br />
TO FIND OUT WHAT HAPPEN AT THE END
<br />
<br />
<br />
Who is the most stupid</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-53072530169875103342013-04-08T12:45:00.001+01:002013-04-12T10:55:16.163+01:00Jokes: Who's The Dumbest<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
Whos is the dumbest?
<br />
(1) A Ugandan who goes to the
<br />
bank with a spanner to open a bank
<br />
account.
<br />
<br />
(2) A Nigerian who removes his shoes
<br />
to enter a taxi
<br />
<br />
(3) A Kenyan who went to bed with a
<br />
ruler just to know how long he has
<br />
slept
<br />
<br />
(4) A Tanzanian who watches news on
<br />
tv and waves at a news reader
<br />
<br />
(5) A Zambian nurse who wakes up a
<br />
sleeping patient simply because he
<br />
forgot to give him sleeping pills<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<br />
<br />
(6) A South African who lowers his tv
<br />
volume because he wants to read a
<br />
text message
<br />
<br />
(7) A Ghanian who sprays him self
<br />
doom to chase away mosquitoes
<br />
<br />
(8) A Zimbabwenean who polishes his
<br />
shoes to take a passport size photo...
<br />
<br />
(9) A Benin man who sold his TV just to buy DVD
<br />
<br />
(10) An Ethopian who is in his house holding an Umbrella while it is
<br />
raining outside</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com2tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-53385421991034692013-04-07T17:38:00.001+01:002013-04-12T10:57:55.216+01:00Joke: Akpors And The Pastor<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
A man Named Apkors went to church
<br />
for confession:
<br />
<br />
Akpors: I have sinned and I need confession.
<br />
<br />
Pastor: say exactly what you did. So that your sins will be
<br />
fully forgiven.
<br />
<br />
Akpors: I committed
<br />
Adultery with several
<br />
church female.
<br />
<br />
Pastor: say there names and the number of times
<br />
you had sex with them.
<br />
<br />
Akpors: (sobbing) I am<br />
<a name='more'></a>
<br />
ashamed! I can't talk.
<br />
<br />
Pastor: okay! Lets it do this way, after
<br />
service we will wait at
<br />
the entrance, and when you see the female you
<br />
slept with, just say PAP.
<br />
<br />
If its two times, say PAP twice, and so on.
<br />
<br />
So after the service
<br />
a girl called Asher passes wrigging
<br />
her buttocks.
<br />
<br />
The man(Akpors) says
<br />
PAP PAP.
<br />
<br />
Pastor: the Lord will forgive you.
<br />
Then Deacons wife passes carrying a bible.
<br />
<br />
The man(Akpors) says PAP.
<br />
<br />
Pastor: the lord will forgive you.
<br />
<br />
A choir member passes singing.
<br />
<br />
The man(Akpors) says
<br />
PAP PAP PAP.
<br />
<br />
Pastor: the lord will
<br />
forgive you.
<br />
<br />
Finally Pastors wife passes by while receiveing a phone call.
<br />
<br />
The man(Akpors) goes like a
<br />
machine gun
<br />
PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP
<br />
PAP PAP PAP PAP
<br />
PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP
<br />
PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP
<br />
PAP PAP PAP PA PAP
<br />
PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP PAP
<br />
<br />
Pastor: paaaaaa!
<br />
my wife !!!!! Curse be to your father.
<br />
<br />
God will not forgive you.</div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com1tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-1008506185606338205.post-75004197438619116472013-04-04T17:42:00.000+01:002013-04-04T17:42:46.848+01:00Jokes: Mr. Ofoka and the funny Akpors<div dir="ltr" style="text-align: left;" trbidi="on">
<span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">One day at the end of class, a teacher Mr.</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Ofoka asked the whole class to go home and</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">think of a story and then conclude the moral of</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">that story. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">The following day Mr. Ofoka came into the class</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">and asked for the first volunteer to tell their story. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">little Suzy raises her hand and was asked to go</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">ahead. "My dad owns a farm and every Sunday we load</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">the chicken eggs on the truck and drive into town</span><br />
<a name='more'></a><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">to sell them at the market. Well, one Sunday we</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">hit a big bump and all the eggs flew out of the</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">basket and onto the road." </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Then Mr. Afoka asked for the moral lesson of the</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">story. Suzy replied, "Don't keep all your eggs in one</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">basket." </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Next is little Lucy. "Well my dad owns a farm too and every</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">weekend we take the chicken eggs and put them</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">in the incubator. Last weekend only 8 of the 12</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">eggs hatched." </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Mr. Afoka also asked for the moral lesson of the</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">story. Lucy replied "Don't count your eggs before</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">they're hatched." </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">The last person was Akpors. Akpors started like this: "My uncle Tedra fought in the Vietnam war; his</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">plane was shot down over enemy territory. He</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">jumped out before it crashed with only a case of</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">beer, a machine gun and a machete. On the way</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">down he drank the case of beer. Unfortunately,</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">he landed right in the middle of 100 Vietnamese soldiers. He shot 70 with his machine gun, but ran</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">out of bullets, so he pulled out his machete and</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">killed 20 more. The blade of his machete broke,</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">so he killed the last ten with his bare hands". </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Mr. Afoka looked at Akpors in shock and asked if</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">there is possibly any moral lesson to his story. </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">Akpors replied, "Don't fuck with uncle Tedra when he's</span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /><span style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;">been drinking!" </span><br style="-webkit-text-size-adjust: none; background-color: white; font-family: Helvetica, sans-serif; font-size: 14px; line-height: 18px;" /></div>
Amoke Jonashttp://www.blogger.com/profile/00385727194541055353noreply@blogger.com1